jenny_wren: (Default)
Since I transfered from the warehouse to the store in town, I have been walking to and from work.  It is my intention to combine exercise and eating sensibly in an attempt to lose weight.  I'm please to say that since the end of May/start of June, I have lost twenty pounds.  When I started walking, I thought the distance was about a mile and a half each way.  The other day I realized that work is actually three miles away.  So I am actually walking six miles a day not counting all the walking around I do on the job.

It is my hope that eventually a doctor will tell me that I am at a healthy weight for my height and build.  I know that this will take quite some time but I feel that I have made a very good start.  The only problem is that to my eyes at least, I don't look any thinner.  Frank has noticed a difference but in spite of  the very baggy pair of jeans that I am wearing right now, I don't feel any different.  Perhaps I just need to train my eyes to see what is actually there and not what I expect to see.

Growing up, there was a member of my family whom I now refuse to have contact with for far too many reasons to list here.  Growing up, I would recive several comments about how fat I was from this person.  They would always come guise of "comfort" or "advice" such as "Don't let any one let you feel bad about being overweight.  Just tell them you're big boned." 

And so I grew up believing myself overweight.  A couple of years ago, I came across some pictures of myself as a child and it shocked me to discover that I hadn't been overweight at all.  But since I grew up believing myself overweight, I neither noticed or cared when I really did gain weight.  The old habbit of seeing myself larger than I am is proving hard to kill but I am trying my best.  If anyone asked me before I started all this walking how much I weighed,  I would have over estimated my weight by about sixty pounds.  I was suprised to see how much I really did weigh right before I started exercising.

So with that said, will you guys do me a favor?  If I ever start to whine about not making any progress and looking any better, will you kindly remind me that my eyes do not always see truly?

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jenny_wren

September 2012

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