jenny_wren: (Default)
I can't remember if I've mentioned it but shortly after I returned to work following my surgery, I got promoted to department manager of the cosmetics section of my store. I didn't particularly want the promotion; I knew what kind of extra stress and headaches a position in management entails but the extra money's useful. In my department we sell make up, bath products, hand lotions, sun block, face cleansers, wrinkle creams and cheap and stinky fine colognes and perfumes. The sheer volume of products we sell that are approved for use on skin but is classified as hazardous waste if the bottle gets broken or spilled scares me but that's a rant for another day.

Due to the astounding (even for Wal-Mart) amount of theft from the cologne section, the company decided to install locked glass display cases. Today, while helping a customer pick out a nasty nice little Calvin Kline knockoff, the three ounce tester bottle of Kiss cologne* (yes, as in the band) on another shelf spontaneously decided to jump.  As it struck a shelf lower down, it broke open and poured its contents all over right foot.  It was at this point that I realized that an entire bottle of scent that is experienced in its entirety, ceases to be cologne.  To paraphrase a Simpsons character, it smells like burning.

The cologne quickly soaked into my sock and created an eeeeeeviiiiillllll aura that stayed with me throught the day.  The people who suffered from bad allergies were lucky in that they were unable to smell me.  Everyone else shouted things like "Oh God, what is that STINK?" and "I can't even get near you".  Cologne and sweaty foot.  Mmm what a combonation.**  My sinuses have hated me all day and my throat is still on fire from the aura of chemical stench that followed me around until I was able to take a bath.

*There is too a Kiss cologne.

**I wasn't allowed to paint my face up but I did find a plastic gituar to make smashing motions with.

jenny_wren: (Default)

Winter has finally arrived unless, of course, you happen to live in the Southern Hemisphere.  You lucky bastards you.  Yesterday, it was warm, sunny and perfect.  Today, saw the thermometer fall about fourty degrees.  But I haven't logged on just to bitch about the weather.  It's been a while since I've had the energy to post anything.  Working retail during the holiday season sucks.  Each year I find reason to hate the holiday a little more.  The piped in music station has been ramming Christmas carols down our throats since November first.  I am sick of any carol that is not inspired by Lovecraft.  When you think about it, there really aren't that many carols out there; not to give a good enough variety through the course of a day.  It's sad how many singers think that they sound good when they overly emote their way through a song.  A three minute carol really ought not to be stretched into five minutes.  Besides, listening to some guy sing "O. HoooooooLieee NIIIiiiEeEeEeEeEeght" iesn't as original and creative as the singer might think it is.  Especially when I've just heard some chick murder the song in the same manner twenty minutes previously.

I probably shouldn't bitch so much but I'm sick of the way retailers cram holidays down people's throats.  "YOU MUST SPEND TWO THIRDS OF YOUR DISCRETIONARY INCOME HERE OR YOUR FAMILY WILL HATE YOU AND BABY JESUS WILL CRY" seems to be the cry of the retail giants lately.  And the general public buys into it and it turns them ugly.  It's sad really.  We have had Christmas displays up since freaking August.

I have to work tomorrow.  Happy, happy, joy, joy.  And I have to work Black Friday.  Woo Hoo.

But I am thankful to have my wonderful and loving husband here by my side who will welcome me home tomorrow with a nice little dinner.  I am also thankful for a wonderful and loving family even though we are very far apart.  I am also thankful that I have all of you on my friend's list.  I love you all.

I've been working so much that I haven't had the chance to take my nifty new camera out and about through town.  I have taken tons of pictures of my cats doing cute things.  I must post them soon.

jenny_wren: (Default)
Silly me.  I thought I had moved to a region of the country where every one had an accent.  I was proven wrong.  A few co workers finally approached me and asked me where I was from.  They said that they were having trouble placing my accent.  I had to move halfway across the country but I've finally aquired an accent.  Woot!

I thought that yesterday was going to be a rough day at work.  It seems that a lot of people had a little too much fun watching theSuperbowl and couldn't be bothered to drag their hung over asses to work.  It was sheer luck that we had a light day sa far as trucks went.  Perhaps all the drivers are hung over as well.  

I'm really not a football fan.  The best I could do when people were talking about the upcoming game was to say that I hoped that somebody's team won.  However, the passing of this year's Superbowl means that Spring Training and the start of baseball season is that much closer.  Woot!  Go Dodgers!
jenny_wren: (Default)
I realized that I haven't done a proper update type post in a while. Silly me.


I would like to begin this post with an apology. My Frithmas gift list is a short one this year. It's a bit longer than it has been in a couple of years but there are still not many people on it. I am hoping that next year, I will be able to give gifts to more people. That being said, there are a couple of you who will be getting their gifts a little late. I know what I want to inflict on give you but I need to wait until the next paycheck to send it out. I know that this is lame but I hope to make it up to y'all.

Frithmas Eve:

I do have to work tomorrow but have been told that we will be far fewer trucks in than normal. Hooray for short work days!

Actually, I'm not sure how to take this news. Having spent the last several years in retail hell, Christmas Eve is usually a nightmare. I wonder what it will be like to not have to spend the day getting cursed and screamed at becuase we are out of the most popular item in that store that we had been advertising for a month. I wonder what it will be like getting off of work tomorrow and not need to spend the rest of the night staring off into space while twitching uncontrolably.

The Loot:

Yesterday we got a big box in the mail from my parents full of Frithmas stuff. Along with some brightly wrapped presents, they included our stockings as well as one for the cats. I've had the same stocking hanging up at my parents house every holliday for years. Frank's was added a few years back. It's nice to have them but I would rather that they were still at my parent's and that I could go home for the holliday. Life has greatly improved for my husband and I by moving to the Midwest but oh, do I miss my family.

When I opened up the box, it had quite a bit of news paper and tissue keeping the contents safe. Both cats watched the unpacking with extreme interest. When the box was emptied, I turned it on its' side and stuffed the paper back inside it. Within seconds, they cats were burrowing into the paper and generaly having a grand time. I think I will leave the box out for afew days. Frank said that the cats had a bit of a turf war over it today.

This last bit sort of rambles a bit but bear with me. )

And now I'm off to bed. Just because I get to drive a forklift instead of spending a day in retail hell doesn't mean that I don't have to get up before the ass crack of dawn.


Dec. 17th, 2006 05:38 pm
jenny_wren: (Default)
So today I pulled a 13 hour shift; the warehouse was a madhouse today. I am teh tired. While driving my forklift, I got rear-ended by someone who was tailgating me. While unloading a truckload of cantalopes, I failed to notice that a case of cantalopes had fallen off of a pallet. I drove several feet before I thought to myself "I wonder what that scraping sound is". I left quite a long trail of squished mellon juice.

Oh, and it's that magical time of the month where I'm right, everyone else is wrong and no one has the grace to admit it.

So please excuse me if I go "RAWR!"

I feel a bit better now.
jenny_wren: (Default)
I totally spaced off the fact that Thanksgiving was around the corner until I came to work Saturday. They seem to think that people will be buying a lot of food this week. My brain is fried and I can barley lift my arms to reach the keyboard right now. I am so very sore and tired. And yet, if given the choice between spending 11 hours a day stacking cases that weigh 30 to 60 pounds and working another Holliday in retail, I will cheerfully stack cases. It's a helluva lot less painful.

Oh and today at work, the safety supervisor for our dock was fired for having too many accidents.
jenny_wren: (Default)
I had to check in another truck load of eggs yesterday. Much to my relief and to your disappointment, I did not break a single one. If it makes you feel any better, this morning while making breakfast, I did put my finger through a raw egg I was trying to pick up. Yesterday at work, I also discovered the secret to keeping warm this winter. It's unnecessary manual labor and extreme irritation.

I was given a truck of frozen food to check in. It was only 28 pallets which made it a small load. A typical truck of that type can have 50 or more pallets worth of stuff on it. So I went my merry little way down the dock to the frozen section thinking that I had an easy truck to unload. Upon opening the truck's trailer door, I felt a sudden urge to use non company-approved language.

We were not the first stop for this truck and who ever was in this trailor last did not put the restraint bars back up across the remaining pallets. As a result, the first three pallets of frozen food had tiped completly over. Now when a pallet is loaded onto a truck for shipping, casses are stacked high on a pallet to make more stuff fit. The receiver (me) will take a pallet off of a truck and break it down into pallets on the appropriate size. To make the job easier, I use a clamp which is basically a fork lift with a large clamp attached to it instead of forks. I simply clamp the right number of cases and set them onto a new pallet and it's good to go.

With the pallets inside the truck tipped over, I was forced to stack and break down those pallets by hand before I could even remove them from the trailer. I took me an hour to do what should have taken fifteen minutes. Inside the trailer is temperature controlled of course. The metal floor of the trailer was slick so I had to move slowly.

I wasn't cold at all though, just really irritated. Some part of my mind registered that it was rather frosty in there but I really felt quite toasty. However, when I was finally done, I noticed that my hair was frozen stiff and sprinkled with little bits of ice. And when I recorded the temprature for the paperwork, the trailer was at -8 degrees Fahrenheit.

After I finally finished unloading the entire trailer, I discovered that I was short 24 cases of the same product that was on those tipped over pallets. All the pallets of that particular product had already been hauled off and put away in the freezer so the supervisor couldn't simply count the cases and agree with me that I was short. He kept asking me if I was sure I was short and didn't simply make a mistake in counting the cases. He finally had to agree with me that since I had spent an hour stacking all those cases by hand, I damn well knew how many cases there actually were.

So, I think that if I find enough things to piss me off this winter, I shall find that I will be quite toasty warm. Does any one have any suggestions on how to piss me off? :-)

I've also acquired, an icon for all of my work related posts. Anyone on [Bad username or site: @]'s f-list should know where it's from.

Woo Hoo!

Nov. 8th, 2006 12:32 pm
jenny_wren: (Default)
I got my birthday card in the mail yesterday from [Bad username or site: @]. I considered his sugestion that I buy a weasel for my birthday but there are no weasels to be found. Drat this small town life! Deos anyone have sny suggestions on how to spend my birthday money?

And on a completly unrelated note, do any of you have any idea how much of a mess driving a forklift into the bottommost case of a 60 case pallet of eggs makes? I do.
jenny_wren: (Princess Vader)
Today at work, my trainer had me use the tilt-a-whirl forklift to unload a truck all by myself. It was amazing just how much longer and narrower that trailer got as I drove into it. Still, I managed not to drop anything or punch a hole in the trailer with my forks. I'm fairly certain that this is a good thing. I did manage to briefly get the wheel caught between the dock and the ramp into the trailer. I'm still not sure how I managed that. I got myself free on sheer adrenaline and liberal use of non-Walmart approved words. Luckily, no one noticed my little mishap or non-approved language.

I did make one unloader nervous with my unsure driving. I kept trying to give him a wide berth but he still didn't like the looks of my driving. Despite the frequent use of my horn, he told me that he was never sure which direction I was going to turn. In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn't have responded with "Well neither do I". I tend to become a little too honest when I get nervous.

I found myself thinking of my day in Kingdom of Loathing terms (perhaps I play too much?). I kept thinking things like You make short work of stacking a pallet of ground beef by hand. It's quite a workout and you really should have remembered to put your gloves on. You gain 4 Beefiness.

You drag a pallet to it's intended destination. It shows its’ gratitude by giving you a splinter. You lose 2 HP.

While driving down the dock, you get bored and try to send messages by Morris code with your pallet jack's horn. A supervisor complements you on your safe and alert driving practices. You gain 7 Smarm

Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to have the thought process of a normal person. I bet it would be boring as hell.

And while I'm thinking, I need to find or make a new icon for work-related posts like these.
jenny_wren: (Default)
Will someone please tell me how is it that I do not know how to drive a car but I now have a license to drive a piece of equipment that weighs as much as one? I now have a license in this piece of equipment:

Cut to spare those of you with dialup. )
jenny_wren: (Default)
I swear that if one more person walks up to me while I am at work behind the jewelry counter and asks me to go get the person who works in jewelry, I will say "Of course."

I will then walk away and go take a five-minute break.

And if one more person tries to impress me with their jewelry expertise by demanding a loupe to inspect a freaking cubic zirconia, I will hand them a loupe. I will also smile sweetly and sell them on how our cubics are the finest faux grade on the market.

In addition, if I ever shortchange another customer by ten whole dollars, I will beat the math back into my brain. Yeah, that was embarrasing.


jenny_wren: (Default)

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